Mommy is always tired
During the drive home today, Darling Angel asked “mommy, why are you always tired?”
“I’m not always tired” I responded.
“No mommy, why are you always tired?”, she repeated her question.
“Ok, I’m not tired now”, I lied.
“Then why do you always say you’re tired?”
Apparently, I always say that. It’s not the way I want my 5 year old daughter to perceive me - always tired mommy. It really got me thinking about how I expend my energy at work everyday and my children get the tired part of me. They get what’s left after a long day. Is that right? Is that the way things should be?
I’ve never considered not working fulltime. I grew up in Nigeria surrounded by women who had successful careers as well as children. In some cases, they had many children as well as tons of social obligations. I never thought I would do anything different or even want to. But that was a different place, with a different support structure.
I don’t have the option of going part time at this time, so I won’t dwell on it. However, I need to stop letting my tiredness bleed over into my children’s lives. I need to find strategies that energize me. I need to spend quality time with my kids. I’ve let time with my first child slip as I deal with the second one. “Mommy, do you want to read me this book” now earns a “you can read that yourself. I’m tired”. That has to change.
