Womze - Cross Cultural Parenting

Another year rolls in, and before we know it, just like previous years, it will be all over.  Another year older, we will contemplate on our goals, we will review our achievements.  We will chastise ourselves for all the things we failed to accomplish.  Or we will pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.  This is the time to decide which it will be.

I wanted to make resolutions this year but ended up with only one - make better meals for my kids.  I stopped making New Year resolutions many years ago when I decided to adopt desired goals as they surfaced.  When I was a kid, I would write my list of ten or so resolutions as decoratively as I could on a piece of paper.  I would proudly read them out on New Year’s eve, “I will make my bed every morning” etc, and I would resolve in my heart to stick to them.  But I doubt if they ever lasted for a month, or even a week.  I worry the same fate will meet my children’s meals but I’m counting on blogging to help me overcome my daughters preference for fish sticks and fries over a multi-colored plate.  But while I was not big on resolutions, I do have existing goals that need to be met, some serious and others less so.

Make more money/Save more money
This is a somewhat non-specific goal.  More like a desire.  The ultimate goal is to save more money, to have more for emergencies and to save towards children’s education.  To accomplish this, I need to make more money while keeping expenses at the same level or lower.  Hmm, how do I make more money? 

Take and pass CISSP Certification
Last year, I wanted to take this exam, but I did not plan towards it.  So it did not happen.  I feel rather overwhelmed with the thought of studying and thinking about money is distracting.

Teach my daughter Yoruba
Children learn languages so easily, yet I have not provided my daughter with the avenue to learn her parents language, Yoruba.  Hubby and I speak it to each other, but not to our kids.  Now, my Darling Angel is five years old and it hit me, our window of amazing-child-ability to learn is fast closing.  Thankfully, Baby Brother can learn along with her so we’ll be killing two birds with one stone.

Expand my folktales site
My folktales site has been languishing due to lack of activity from me.  It’s time to expand.

Trim my waistline
Need I say more?  I’ve worked out (on and off), I’ve cut back on junk food (every now and then), I’ve lost weight, yet my waistline defiantly stays out of shape.  Got to crunch crunch crunch.

Get more organized
Another vague goal.  I need to have things organized in my home and at work in such a way that’s efficient and saves time.  I want to spend less time frantically digging through laundary in the mornings.  I want to avoid unplanned shopping trips because I neglected to get my daughter something she needed for school the next day.  And I want my desk at work to reflect a more organized individual.

New year pledge #1
I will cook varied and healthy meals for my kids.  I will provide meals that stimulate their taste buds and promote good eating habits. 

The challenge
My 5 year old is a notoriously picky eater.  Or non-eater, depending on how you look at it.  She drinks a lot of milk and likes to snack on crackers, gummies and chips.  I try to make those unavailable but she appears just fine with milk only.  With some prodding, she would eat a few pieces of sausage, fish sticks or other highly processed foods.  I had allowed this to go on for too long due to the convenience of said processed foods.

How did we fall into such poor eating habits
I don’t really know.  At one, when she was newly introduced to adult fare, she voraciously dug into everything.  And by everything, I mean iyan and egusi, beans cooked in palm oil, rice, moin-moin, etc - all Nigerian foods, spicy and hot.  A lot of kids refuse to eat these foods, but not my Darling Angel - she gobbled it all up.  That was at age one.  Next thing I can remember, she was turning it all down and would only eat sausage or pancake or fish sticks or chicken nuggets or fries.  (Never a combination though, just one at any one time.)

Why the history?  Well, whatever I did wrong, I do not want to repeat it with Baby Brother.  His appetite currently exceeds his sister’s when she was one.  He too is gobbling everything down and has a well rounded tummy as evidence.  While I on one hand wonder when (or if) it will be necessary to start taking precautions against childhood obesity, I also wonder if he will suddenly turn away from food and adopt the picky lifestyle.

Since I can’t think of anything I did to cause Darling Angel’s aversion to food, I figure the key may be in what I did not do vs. what I did.

And one thing I did not do 4 years ago was to ensure that there was sufficient variety in our meals.  I just stuck to and repeatedly offered the foods that worked. 

Hope
As I write this, I am not yet sure what form our meal variety will take.  But I hope that Darling Angel’s new-found 5-year old maturity can be leveraged to convince her to try new foods.  I hope that she will discover or rediscover foods that she likes.  I hope that Baby Brother continues to have a good appetite and grows up eating healthy.  I hope that the effort helps me to keep up a healthy diet myself.  Hubby likes his staple naija foods but I’m hoping he joins in and tries some variety too.

BigTent is sponsoring the last blog blast of 2008 on Parent Bloggers Network.  I decided to participate, not just because I’ve been planning to participate sometime and this is the last opportunity this year, but because the topic sparks images of peace and tranquility in my mind.  We’re to write what we will be doing in 2009 to make our “circus” easier, better, or just plain manageable.

2008 Recap

I started 2008 with an infant and a four year old who was still very attached to me.  I experienced the typical sleepless nights that every new mother does and can’t remember now, how I used to make it through my day at work.  My sleepless nights however extended a little longer than usual, with baby insisting on night time feedings well beyond 10 months.

Sometime during a moment of alertness, I realized that my older kid was short on extra-curricular activities and we quickly remedied it by enrolling in karate and swimming classes.  We also scheduled weekly library trips in there to keep up her enthusiasm for reading.  But I was short on gas…not enough sleep.  Exercise helped, good food helped, but I yearned for sleep, six hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Serenity dreams

I look forward to 2009.  I have great hopes, dreams that my circus is over, to be replaced by a calm oasis.  Ok, that may be an exageration, but a mom can dream.  What gives me such great hope for 2009?  What will I do to achieve this dream of serenity?  Well, here are five reasons I am hopeful.

1. Baby Brother will sleep longer
As babies get older, they seem to need more sleep.  My daughter, Darling Angel, at age 2 would wake up to ask for milk at odd hours of the night.  Now at 5, I can hardly get her up in the morning.  Though I’ve sleeping been sleeping uninterrupted now for about 6 weeks now, I would like to enjoy a few moments of peace and quiet after I wake up.  Baby Brother (still co-sleeping), usually has one eye open, watching out for my awake signal.  As soon as I get up, he cries out, insisting on being held.  I have to fetch his milk while carrying 24 pounds and I’m exhausted even before the day begins.
When he sleeps deeper and longer, I will have my peace and quiet in the mornings.  Some of this p&q can be used to fold away laundary.

2.  All co-sleeping will end
However I got into co-sleeping (with both kids), I won’t recap but a friend of mine tells me it must be my fault, otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened twice.  When Spring arrives, I will send Baby Brother back into his crib (or crib converted to toddler bed).  For now, it gives me comfort to know that he’s right here and warm.  Hubby (who’s usually out of town) is also better assured that the baby is nice and toasty when I say, “he’s right next to me”.  Come Spring, we’ll be done with ‘cold worries’.

3.  Darling Angel will take care of her own baths
On my 6th birthday, I asked my parents for permission to bathe myself.  “I’m a big girl now”, I told them.  “I don’t need anybody bathing me”.  My parents deliberated and granted me my desire.  My desire was not motivated by a sense of maturity but that’s a story for some other time.  However, if Darling Angel can bathe herself at 6 (or a little earlier - I will encourage her earlier), all I have to do is wake her up in the morning and she’ll take care of everything else.  Excellent!

4.  My energy level and strength will increase
I have been exercising somewhat constantly (can one preface constantly with somewhat?).  If I continue to exercise in 2009, I will be even stronger than I am in 2008.  Hauling 24 pounds (or Baby Brother’s future weight) should be a breeze.  But wait, he’ll be older and need less hauling.  I’m really excited.  If I’m stronger, I’ll be able to tackle housework with ease.  Rather than giving in to the clutter, I can actively stay on top of things - putting toys away, rearranging books, arranging all the junk in the basement - instead of watching helplessly while the kids exercise their rights to mess.

5. My diet will improve
I will resolve to eat a better diet in 2009.  A good diet, combined with exercising will give me all the energy I need to accomplish all tasks without feeling depleted.  I hope.  I plan.  I have tried taking notes of everything I eat as a strategy to combat mindless snacking and it worked.  I will make this one of my goals for 2009 - write everything I eat. 

With these five projections for 2009, all I see is a calm oasis of peace and tranquility.

[photo source]