Womze - Cross Cultural Parenting

As I drove home earlier this week, feeling drained after a really long meeting at work, I decided that we would have to skip swimming that night.  I just felt like enough is enough with all the running around, running late and we would just kick back and relax tonight.  My daughter was disappointed since this is her best activity (and I’m hoping that quickly translates into her picking up the skills we’re in class for).  But at the end of the day, I felt like my decision was definitely worth it.

After dinner and homework, instead of running out the door, we headed upstairs, changed clothes and both kids climbed into bed with me.  Hubby was out of town.  I enjoyed reading a magazine while the kids fooled around (doing what they do).  Then my newly turned 2-year old came over to see what I was reading.

“O!”, he pointed out a letter O on the cover page.  He knows his shapes and I’m wondering why and when he started calling a circle O.  “O! O! O!”, he repeated as he pointed out several Os on the page.  I smile at him in acknowledgement and continue to read when he begins a round of “A! A!”, pointing at the As on the page.  This got my attention.  I clapped in excitement.  Big sister scooted over to see what was going on.  Baby Brother, enjoying the attention showed her the Os and As.  Then, “E!”.  Even though he was pointing at an F, I was pretty impressed. 

This experience made staying home absolutely worth it and I felt shamed that I do not spend enough time with him.   At the same time, I am thankful that I have access to such great childcare.  Our neighbor who runs a home daycare does not just watch him, she puts a lot of effort and energy into teaching and she’s got incredible patience with the kids.  Thanks to her efforts, I’m seeing that Baby Brother is not just funny, he’s also very smart.  The week before, Hubby and I were shocked to discover that Baby Brother could count to 20.  He usually counted to 10 and we would all clap in celebration.  But this time, Hubby and I were busy and did not clap at 10.  When Baby Brother said “Eleven”, Hubby and I dropped what we were doing and listened in astonishment as we went to “Twenty”, at which time we went crazy with applause.  He looked so proud.

“Baby Brother’s walking! He’s walking! He’s walking!”, Darling Angel squealed over and over, as her baby brother took his first independent steps at ten and a half months. 

It’s now been three since Baby Brother started to take more than two steps on his own before crashing on his well padded bottom, but Darling Angel cries out each time as if she’s seeing him take independent steps for the very first time.  “He’s walking! Mommy, daddy, see, he’s walking!!” 

Baby Brother is just as excited as his sister is.  Her squeals inform him that he’s doing something extra special and he throws a big smile on his face as he stretches out his hands for balance and toddles along.

I am excited that I can finally say “he walks” as Hubby and I have been excitedly waiting for this milestone.  He’s teased us with it for too long.  He started to stand and hold on to furniture at six months.  By seven months, he was comfortably furniture walking around the living room.  Everyone who saw him said he’d be walking by eight months.  I wanted him to be walking by 8 months.  Why?  I guess just so I could boast that my son was walking at eight months. 

Eight months came and went and he was still furniture walking.  Nine months came and went and he seemed to be in no hurry.  As I complained to a friend about my son’s lack of desire to let go of the furniture he used for support, she warned me of the risk of babies developing bowed legs when they walk too early…something about softer bones.  I don’t know how valid the warning is but I want him to walk, NOW. 

Ten months came and still furniture walking.  The window of opportunity to boast about an early walker has just about slipped away.  Darling Angel walked at 11 months, or maybe it was 11 and a half.  I’ll have to dig out her walking debut video and check the timestamp.  But I expected Baby Brother, due to his early start, to beat her record hands down.  Now, two weeks away from eleven months, he’s finally done it.  Hardly a significant victory margin.

Am I listening to myself?  In my mind, I’ve turned his walking into a competition.  It is not a competition.  Baby Brother is not in competition with his big sister nor with any other baby (or person who was once a baby).  He is just himself, doing his own thing to the best of his ability (I hope). 

My children are individuals, their personalities are different.  While I can’t help running comparisons in my mind, I pray for wisdom to give each of them the nurturing they need to reach their full potentials.