Homework versus family time
My parenting philosophy on education is this - Push the kids as far as they can go! This means stretching them beyond their present limits, introducing them to advanced concepts early to give them a headstart. And of course, providing them with plenty of opportunity to practice their learnings, through homework both assigned by the teacher and additional work given at home. Do I sound like I’m extreme? Fortunately, I’m not. I do believe this philosophy, but I just don’t have the time and energy to practice it after a full day at work. And on weekends, if the million things that have to be done don’t have to be done, then I like to relax. Since I do not have the time to provide my kids with all the stretching opportunities I imagine, I appreciate it greatly when the teacher does it for me.
At the beginning of the school year when Darling Angel started 1st grade, we attended a parent-teacher orientation. I couldn’t contain my grins of joy when the teacher rattled off all the subjects that would be taught, the techniques and the homework - lots of it. Wonderful! Barely two months of school have gone by and I’m now singing a different tune. Enough with all that homework!!!
The homework is not difficult, just reinforcement of what was taught during the day. In fact, by the time I pick Darling Angel up most days, she has already completed most of her homework. But there are the hands-on activities that she’s supposed to do and describe to the teacher the following day. These require adult (i.e. my) supervision or interaction. Activities such as dropping various objects in a tub of water to see which would sink or not. Or quizzing her on a comprehension essay that she has read. Or playing explorer and discussing the objects we discovered.
These are fun and excellent activities for kids and every night, there is no end to Darling Angel’s whining when we do not have time to complete the assigned activity. “But mom, I’m supposed to put stuff in water! Mom, I need to tell my teacher which ones can float!!” “But mom, I need to explore somewhere!!!” While I say, “Shh, go to bed.”
I titled the post, “Homework versus family time”, but in reality, on weekdays we do not even have family time. School ends at 2:45pm but I do not pick Darling Angel up until 5/5:30 because…you guessed it, I work. Then we pick up Baby Brother and head home. It’s dinner time and if hubby is already home, then lucky us because dinner will be done. If not, I’m making the fasted thing I can think of while Baby Brother belts himself into his high chair and chants “eat eat.” While cleaning up, Darling Angel holds up her homework papers in my face. “See mom.” I try to stare at it long enough to figure if she got her sums right and her spellings correct. “Good job”, I giver her a verbal pat on the back while we get ready for bed. As I start shooing the kids into bed, she reminds me of the homework activity that’s not yet done. “There’s no time”, I tell her. She pulls a long face and goes to bed.
The next day when she says, “My teacher said I am supposed to see what things can float”, I feel like an incompetent parent. But there really was no time. And when there is a little time, I am beginning to resent this intrusion of homework into what should be a treasured family time. I love homework, but this I hate.
An article on USAToday advices that “parents approach the teacher in a non-confrontational way, as a collaborator in the education process.” That is what I have to do.
