Potty training too early, too late
At 15 months, Baby Brother started potty training in earnest. The decision to begin was mostly driven by the desire of the lady who watches him (I’ll call her Ann). Ann was new to home childcare, was full of enthusiasm and couldn’t wait to get the little boys (hers and mine) out of diapers. This desire sat very well with my own philosophy. Darling Angel started potty training at 9 months and by 11 months would tell me if she needed to poop. Even though progress slid in later months, looking back now, it was still a huge success.
“Boys are harder to train”, people told me whenever I shared my previous potty training success. I refused to listen to stereotypes, but gradually I began to accept it. Afterall, this boy seemed a lot more comfortable in his mess than his sister did. He also didn’t have a routine like his sister did. Nor did he give off any indication of oncoming business - he did is his business without pausing whatever activity he was involved in. When Ann asked me whether I minded having my son potty trained, I said “go for it”. And at home, I dug out Darling Angels trusty Little Potty.
It turned out that he likes to sit on the potty. He also likes to get up and run around like he’s discovered some new found freedom, running around butt naked. And in the short time since we started potty training, we have had our fair share of incidents (within minutes, heck, seconds of getting off the potty).
Why won’t he sit patiently on the potty until he’s completed his business?
I have been presented with two opposing ideas. One is that he’s potty training too early, the other is that he’s potty training too late.
Too early
“It is physiologically impossible to potty train boys this early”, a colleague explained to me. “Both boys and girls need to be old enough to understand what you’re trying to accomplish”, another chimed in. A child should be potty trained when the child is ready, willing and interested. Once a child is ready to be potty trained, the process is effortless and can be completed within a week. To force potty training on a child that is not ready is to incur headaches on oneself.
Too late
I talked to my sister in Nigeria. My nephew is just over 9 months old, so I ask when my sister plans to begin potty training. “He’s not really potty trained yet”, she started to say doubtfully. “I just put him on the potty every morning and he sits there until he poops.” She explained that he also goes on the potty at his daycare. I’m astounded to learn that he does his business in the potty every morning, after all, he’s a hard-to-potty-train-boy. I share how unsuccessful we’ve been with Baby Brother because he gets up and runs around. My nephew can’t walk yet, so there is no running around.
“That’s it!” I say. I needed to have started early enough to control the sitting on the potty.
My very Nigerian aunt reinforced this idea when I later shared our potty training challenges with her. “Perhaps you didn’t start early enough?”, she asked, trying to identify the root cause of those challenges.
The solution?
Since I already missed the “early enough” potty training window, I will plan to catch the “late enough” window as early as possible. In the meantime, since the potty is already out of storage, we will continue to use it as long as Baby Brother is happy to use sit on it. And maybe, just maybe I will be surprised and potty training will just happen.
